Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
Waiter, bring me a bowl of turtle soup and make it snappy.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.