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Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Sober me makes plans and drunk me cancels them. Its a good system.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.