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My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
Home is where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes