Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
This status has been censored by Facebook
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."