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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
Before McDonald`s I bet "don`t buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule.
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.