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Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.