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Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.