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Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
I just awesomed all over the place.
Wonder if Jesus gets screwed out of birthday presents just because his birthday is so close to Santas?
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
The Spanish version of the Subway jingle “65.63 Peso 0.3 meter largo” isn’t quite as catchy…