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Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they can`t laugh either.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!