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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.