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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.