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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Dear Santa, I was framed!
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
If your father is poor, Its your fate, but if your father-in-law is poor, then its your fault!
I say the things better left unsaid.
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.