Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
I like the parts of the day when food happens.
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
Judge: I`ve decided to give your ex-wife $350/month for child support. Me: That`s very generous. I`ll try and kick in a little myself.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
I`m just chilling tonight with my new plane ... Oops, I`ve said too much.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don’t have if they are asking me for advice.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.