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Remember, an easily stolen ADT security sign placed on your lawn is the first line of defense against crime.
The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
I would like to say to all my 500+ facebook friends, that i love each and every one of you..except you number 371..your a real a@@hole!!
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
You’d be more impressed with me if you never met anyone else.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
By the time I’ve said “Nice to meet you” I’ve already forgotten your name.
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?