Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
When I buy a horse, I`ll call it `MY FACE`..imagine all the ladies screaming `come on my face`
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
I don`t know why beer companies bother with an expiration date. It`s never going to make it anywhere near that.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall ... I plan on sticking to it.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.