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What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Look UPS guy, you can`t just show up at someone`s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
I`m pretty sure apple kid below needs help..
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
Guy advice #221: Starting a load of laundry in the washing machine and then starting a load in the dryer counts as `2 loads` - just sayin`!
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.