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If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear… What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.