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I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
I feel like I`m not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don`t cut and dye my hair and change my identity.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
I would of never even thought of touching half the things that I`ve touched, if it weren`t for the "Do not touch" signs!
I am a drinker ... Hear me pour
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace