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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
If you own a podium and put up a sign that says "valet" on it, can you just steal cars?
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.