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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
I just called. To say. I texted you.
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
There`s always cake to celebrate happy moments, but I really think cake would do better during the bad times. Got fired? Have a cake.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!