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Love is when the guy who stocks the liquor knows your name.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
make little things count. teach midgets math.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
The less you know, the more you think you do.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...