Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first rule of selfie club should be to clean your room.
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I just broke my record for most days lived.
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
You can`t be late until you show up
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.