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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I have no problem admitting that you made a mistake.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
Let’s have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.