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A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"