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I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I`ll be notified immediately.
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.