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You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
If I text with “Almost there!” I haven’t left yet.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
Gift cards are still the best way to say "I`m too lazy to think of a good gift and I think you`ll buy drugs if I give you cash."
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
My business card is just a picture of me looking inside the fridge.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"