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As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
I`ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do, could you drop off some milk. Thanks.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
If you hold a 40oz bottle to your ear you can hear the ghetto.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.