Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.