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Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.