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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
Falling in love is just like falling down a well, except one is dank, dark and scary, and can really hurt you, and the other is a well.
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??