Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
When sliding down the banister of life, always make sure that the end is knob free!
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Redneck`s famous last words: "Is that enough duck tape?"
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.
Why do we call it the Sun instead of a space heater?