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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
I have off-road rage, too
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
When I see someone walking more than one dog I always think, "wow, that person must be really blind."
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.