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Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.