Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.