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A wise man once said nothing.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Iām considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
I have a few skeletons in my closet. But, every single one of them deserved it.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.
I like to listen to mexican radio but I dont know what they are singing or saying so I just pretend they are singing about how awesome I am.