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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
I know my limits. I donβt pay any attention to them, but I know them.