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And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too.
I won’t come to your party unless you have an animal I can spend the whole time hanging out with.
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.