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Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
I taught my wife everything she knows about male stupidity.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.