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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.