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never be afraid to wipe twice
Pandas are proof that if you have a cute enough outfit no one will call you fat.
Sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
I generally don`t hang out with people who are missing digits on their feet. It`s not that I`m a jerk. I`m just lack-toes intolerant.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
I always wrap someone`s fist bump with my high five because paper beats rock.
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!