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If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
Wow bro, that pot leaf tattoo on your neck really makes the colors of your Burger King uniform pop.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.