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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
I noticed you stopped taking your meds. Can I have them?
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
I had four E`s and LSD last night. Such an awful start to a game of scrabble!!
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly