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I don`t know what`s scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...