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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now