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What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
What I lack in good decisions, I make up for in inappropriate behavior.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?