Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.
The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want them to be.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.