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Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
As a community service, I send random inmates letters how my life is going to cheer them up.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
I gave my dog a middle name today, so he knows when he`s really in trouble.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?