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Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Nice try butter flavored pancake syrup, but I`m still putting butter on them!!
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"