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Gym Update: Not there.
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
Dear who ever’s reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
I need a fixed income. Mine is broken.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
Sometimes I feel happy, but then the Oreos run out.
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
Here`s a crazy trick to avoid looking fat in pictures: Lose weight.