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If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn`t punch them in the head as soon as they got here.
The next person I hear say “I love fall” is getting choked out with a scarf soaked in pumpkin spice latte.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.