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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
"We`re pregnant!" -people who don`t understand science
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring ... so I go back to being me. ;)
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
I`m going to hell in every religion!
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.