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What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
My life is a lot like Ikea furniture with missing instructions. I’ll get it together eventually but it won’t ever feel quite right.
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears