Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
I’ll call it a “smart phone” the day I yell, “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your covers!”
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
I`m always right. And when I`m not, I edit Wikipedia.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.