Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.
I’m too young to be too old for everything.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.