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My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
Thereβs literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
Wind chimes? I can`t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what`d be nice? Noise.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
Iβm not a βstalkerβ. I want to make sure youβre okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
The early bird needs a punch in the throat.
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you