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The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
In an alternate universe somewhere, all the ducks are making white girl faces.
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.