Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom`s wise words: "Don`t pick that up!! You don`t know where it`s been!!"
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn`t a very nice postcard to receive.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
If your buttcrack is showing out of your pants. I will drop change in it and make a wish.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the hell are you doing?
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.