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It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
drink beer ?? save water
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
You say I’m not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I’m hot. I know I’m hot. Thanks for embracing it.
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…